Why?

I'm so sad.
A very good friend of mine had another miscarriage. It's so not fair. She's such a wonderful person. Genuine and kind hearted. She's so desearving of a baby. Probably more desearving then even me. I dont' understand why this happened to her.
I"m absolutely heart broken for her. There is nothing I can do or say to help her.
I'm so tired of watching good people suffer. So tired of trying to have faith in a God that just sends heartache to good people and rewards undesearving people. A God who has not listened to ANY of the prayers from the girls on our baby forum. We don't ask for much. We're good women and I dont understand why God won't listen to us.

How do you continue to believe? How do you keep the faith?
Because I'm finding it really difficult lately.

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In other news..............
My blood work yesterday came back fine. I'm continuing on my same doses and shots for two days. Then I go back to the Dr tomorrow for an Ultrasound and more blood work.
The last two and a half days, I've had a really dull headache. Also, my shoulder hurts and I'm so tired. I'm sure it's from the meds. I feel really yucky today. Worse then I have which scares me because I'm only half way there. I'm sure my meds will increase tomorrow.

My tentative egg retrieval is next week. Most likely Thursday or Friday.

I've now decided that Russ will do all my shots. I woke up two mornings in a row with HUGE bruises after I did my shots. When he does them, you can't even see the red dot. I tried to be independent. I wanted to do it myself. But I suck at it and I need to let go.

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Russ currently has 3 job offers and now his current company is ready to counter offer. So he's trying to decide what to do. One job he's already counted out. But he was really struggling deciding between the other two and now his current job is throwing him stuff. He's getting kind of stressed. I told him it could be worse. He could be unemployed and not getting ANY offers. I mean having 4 people throwing money at you isn't a bad deal!
I just hope something happens this week. It's starting to stress me out too!!

Well, that's it. I've summed it all up.

I'm sad.
I'm Sick.
I'm a little stressed.