I have so many TTC friends going through so much sadness and dissapointment.
It doesn't seem fair. I feel really bad today.
My cousins wife, who went through IVF this cycle too, just got a negative beta today. I just feel awful about it. We were supposed to be pregnant together.
When we started cycling together we talked about how cool it would be to get pregnant at the same time. The whole time I was thinking, that would be too good to be true. I figured I'd be the one not getting pregnant and she'd get preggo no problem. So when I got my BFP, I thought, YAY!! We're going to be pregnant together. I never even thought for a second it wouldn't work for her. I can't imagine how devastated her and my cousin feel.
And I just feel really bad now.
I realize I've been trying for 3 years and I've been through hell and back and I know that I desearve this, but it's bitter sweet. It's hard to celebrate and be so happy for me while others are suffering. It's just not fair.
In other depressing news...........................
Russ's company is having him lead a big project. He'll be the leader of a group of people setting up a new line. Sounds great right??? Well the new line is being set up in HUNGRY!
So, my husband (starting in May) will be in hungry every 2 weeks. So I'll have a temporary husbnad for 6 months to a year. Home 2 weeks, gone 2 weeks, home 2 weeks, gone 2 weeks, etc. That just SUCKS!!
AND! What if I'm pregnant with twins and I have to be limited in my activities? Then it's really going to suck!! I already told him that if I'm on any weight restrictions that he'll have to buy me several cases of water and bags of dog food before he leaves. Plus, what about the cat litter?? Who is going to scoop that? I can't. I'm going to have to pay my sister or someone. Not to mention, I'm going to be lonely as hell!! This sucks!
I am thankful that we moved back to Salisbury now. At least I'll be close to my friends and family.
Well, that's it for today. Nothing fun and upbeat! Really, it's Blah!
Tomorrow is my 3rd and final beta. I'm praying for another good number. Hopefully I'll be able to schedule my U/S too.
4 comments:
That does suck Barb.
Well at least one of those weeks I'm gonna come visit you OK??? Maybe when you are farther along and need someone to cook and take care of you! Or maybe this summer or something. Does that mean our camping trip is a no go??
That is bitter sweet news about your husband's job. I am sorry you are being put through all of this - I really some times wonder why if is so um ... whats the word ... unfair?
Hey. I'm really sorry too that hubby will be away. I know its not the same but my fiance is a junior doctor and I hardly see him these days. The days alone are really tough, and the only way to fill them is with friends and keeping yourself occupied.
I'll cross my fingers again for that next beta test! xxx
Barb, You are such an amazing woman and friend.. You have been through 3 years of hell.. You so deserve to be pregnant and I am happy for you! You have given me hope. Even though right now I want to give up, I am not because of you!! Love you!!
Sorry Russ will be away so much! I wish I could come visit too!! I would cook and cleand and we could watch some chick flicks!!
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