WHY ME????

I don't understand why everything crappy happens to me. I realize that my current issue compared to what some people deal with, is nothing. But to me it's just frustrating!!!
I thought I was finally set with my Lupron shipment. I was wrong.
I got home today and my package was at the door. YAY!! Well, I opened it up and NOT SO YAY!
They sent me the WRONG Lupron. I need the 2-week kit (which I explained to at least 6 people there this past week) and they sent me the ONE month shot. So I paid $80 for a perscription that I can NOT use.
Anyway, I called. At first I was just irritated. But while sitting on hold, I realized that this for sure could delay my IVF by 6-8 more weeks. Well, I immediately burst in to tears. By the time the lady got back on the phone I was a mess. So I cried and told her that I had to have the right stuff by Tuesday. She said my nurse never specified what Lupron I needed. HELLO?? Why would you send anything then? Why would you NOT call my nurse and get the info. I was hysterical. Anyway, she promised me that she'd get confirmation of exactly what I needed on Monday and overnight so I'd have it on Tuesday.
I'm not holding my breath. This mail order place screws everything up and I have a feeling that this will end up delaying my IVF. Right now, I'll try and stay positive. But it's really hard.
I also got our antibiotics. Those were right. Guess it's hard to screw those up.

It's 7:30pm and Russ is still not home. He's worked until 6:30 or 7pm every night this week. He also worked last Saturday and Sunday. It sucks. He comes home so miserable that he doesnt' even hang out with me. Just hibernates in the other living room.
I'm so freaking alone. And I'm getting angry at him. Which I realize is not fair, but I can't help it. The worst part is, I keep thinking...............what if he's not working? What if he's out with someone? I'd never know.
It's ridiculous to think these things. I have no reason to think he'd cheat on me. But between working late and his lack of sex drive, I can't help but wonder.
For those of you who know Russ I"m sure your thinking yah right? But really, ya never know.
Maybe my Baby Wanting Basket Case of a Women Self has driven him away. Would I ever really know?
Shit I had a guy cheat on my for years and it was obvious to everyone but me! I look back now and can see it but I always had excuses for him when we were dateing.
I don't know. This is stupid. I'm sure he's not cheating on me. I think. I don't know.
I think I'm going crazy.

Well, I've got to go find my brain. I know it's somewhere here.