I'm SO Pissed!

I 'm having an Annulvatory (sp?) cycle. This means NO ovulation for me. Which in turn means, NO BFP for me! WTF!!

Why would my body do this to me right after my Laporoscopy? Like having a period from hell last month wasn't enough. Now my body won't even pop a fucking egg

Here is my chart from my last "No Egg" Cycle (June 2006)















Here is My current Chart













Here they are together

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See How similar they are! DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!!

And here is a chart where I actually "GOT AN EGG"











Can you see the difference? My freakin' body SUCKS!
Here is what I'm saying to my body now
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Anyway, I'm in a horrible mood today. Hopefully it won't last. I'm going to dig for some things to be positive about. It's not going to be easy though.

Hope You All Have a Great Day.

Barb meets Laura

We did it! We finally met!

We've been chatting everyday for months on MSN messanger and this past weekend, we met in Atlanta. With our husbands.

It was so great! I was not at all nervous about meeting Laura. I've talked to her so much, I didn't even really feel like I was just meeting her.

Russ had a great time too. I figured him and Seth would get along since they have all that building stuff to talk about.

We went to Folks Restaurant for lunch and I had my first FRIED GREEN TOMATO! It was Excellent!! Thanks Laura for picking a place that served them.

After we ate, Russ and I went to a park and walked a trail for a little bit and then we headed to Laura's sister-in-laws for a visit and a drink. Us girls chatted and the men chatted. The kids played. Laura is just as much fun in person as she is on line. Even if she was on her "Best Behavior"

Sunday we went to the Altanta Aquarium. It was amazing. There were some REALLY big fish there! However, I was seriously dissapointed that the penquins where NOT out. I got over it though.

I was pretty sad when we had to leave. I wish that we had more time to hang out. We did talk about meeting up again, possibly in Tennesee. When we do that though, we'll need more then 36 hours. I think we'll need a VERY long weekend! We're talking about renting some cabins! That would be great!

I think Russ was shocked at how much he liked Laura and Seth. I don't know why he'd think I'd travel 5 hours to meet someone if I wasn't positive we'd all get along. He really enjoyed himself. He talked about it all the way home. We are both looking forward to seeing them again!

I'll be checking out the hot spots in Knoxville so we can start planning

The negative about this trip - After seeing all these pictures, I realize how much weight I've actually put on and it's making me sick! I need to lose it before I get pregnant or I'll never lose it!

My chart still sucks.

I'm so Confused!

I got my "Explanation of Benefits" from my insurance company yesterday. This was basically what they were covering for my surgery last month. The description said "Surgery" and the cost the Hospital billed was $1,353.26. I'm thinking there has to be another bill. When I got my Tube X-Ray, it cost me $894.00. Now for that procedure all they did was put a cathedaer (sp?) in my cervix and then push some dye through it to see if there were any blockages. This took a total of about 15 minutes. I had no drugs, no nurse to check on me after to make sure I was ok. Just x-ray and shoved me out the door. Now for my Lap, I had an IV, Drugs, Anesthesiologist (sp?) and a surgery that lasted 1 1/2 hours. Also, I was in recovery for 2 more hours. I even got wheeled out of the hospital to get picked up. So how can my bill possibly be only $500 more? This makes no sense to me. Now I'm figuring I'll see another bill, but this one said "Surgery". Usually, they break it down into different lines, so I'm not sure. If that is all my surgery cost, I'm going to talk to someone about my tube x-ray bill because I think someone WAY over charged me.

Here is my second piece of confusion. What the hell is going on with my temps! I've never had them so UP and DOWN. I have no idea what to think. Am I going to ovulate or what! I was really hopeing after my surgery and 27 day cycle last month that things were going to start being normal. Maybe I'd start having 28-29 day cycles. But it's not looking like that at all! All I can do I guess is keep peeing on my OPK's and pray that I do NOT have an annovultory (sp?) cycle.

The good thing is, I've actually been having really positive thoughts about getting pregnant. For the last year or so, I've pretty much given up. I figured the only way I was going to get pregnant was with IVF. And even then, I could not picture myself being pregnant or having a baby. Lately though, in the last week or so, I've been able to see myself pregnant. Even seeing myself having a little baby. I get excited about it. I'm probably setting myself up for a rough month though. Being this excited about the possibility of being pregnant makes the fall that much harder when AF shows. Can't control my mind though. It's going to go where it wants to go and not much I can do. I'm going to stay positive though!

I'm headed to the Aquarium in Atlanta this weekend! Actually, I'm going to see my Online Buddy Laura! We're meeting for the first time. I'm going to be able to try some FRIED GREEN TOMATOES! Woo Hoo! And on Sunday, we're going to the Aquarium! There will be lots and lots of pictures I'm sure!

(Former Wombmates)

Here are the Onesies I made for my friend Sarah. She's pregnant with twins. Her first shower next Saturday. I'm sooooo excited for her to see these!! She's going to love them! She has that same picture of her babies framed on her desk.

I was actually a little sad when came home and opened the pack of onesies to wash. They were so tiny. All I could think about is how I want to wash Onesies for MY baby! I couldn't help but hold them up and stare at them imagineing me having a little gem of my own that would fit into that teeny-weeny onesie. Ah well, all in do time right!

Well, I'm going to get some work done.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

First, let me give a shout out to my Ogden Girls!!!
Hello Melissa! Hello Judy!!




Work was good today. It's still really slow which is worrysome (sp?), but I got a lot done today and I'm pretty caught up on the crap that I usally put off because I don't like doing it.
I had to do some Elks stuff for my dad, so I didn't end up leaving until about 4:45pm.

Tire Trouble!!
After work, I went to UPS to drop off some packages. I pulled up to the curb and obviously did NOT cut the wheel quick enough and hit the curb. HARD! It's about a 6" high curb.
I looked at my tire and I totally f--ked up the hub cap. Then I saw the tire and I had ripped about a 3" piece of the tire off. It was showing the metal wire in the tire. Not good I was guessing. I waited for Russ to get home and asked his opinion. He said "You need a new tire". DAMN!! My tires would have lasted at least another year and now I have to replace 2 of them.
Russ changed my tire and put the spare on because he was afraid my tire would blow out on the way to work. I drive about 25 miles down a country bumpkin road, so he was worried if something happened with the tire at 6:30am, he didn't want me to get hurt or stranded. How sweet of him.


Speaking of my husband. He's been like a complete Jerk for the last few days. Today, we basically argued everytime we talked. And we basically argue over nothing, it's just because he's in a mood and when he's like this, nothing I say is right and he snaps at me over nothing. Then I get mad and hence we end up arguing.
Well, tonight when he came home (before he knew about the tire) he handed me a card. The card was so sweet! Here's what it said:

Front of Card:
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Inside of Card:
(it was blank inside and these are the reasons he loves me)
1. You love me more then I ever thought anyone could
2. Your always thinking about whats best for us
3. Your beautiful and sexy
4. Your funny
5. Your going to be a great mom. Your already a great wife.
6. Your good in bed
7. Your very smart
8. Your out going
9. Your bold yet sensitive
10. and many more
I just really wanted to say I'm sorry. I want to start spending more time together.
Love You!!

Obviously after that I forgave him for all his bad behavior! Plus, he changed my tire.
So he'll obviously be "Gettin' Some" tonight!

Well, American Idol is on. Gotta Go!

Pictures

Here are the pics I promised.

Friday Trip to the Mountains

This is the cute little place we stayed at in the mountains on Friday

Here is the view from our room

This is Russ enjoying the weather and a drink



Here are the views from the deck we were eating on at the country club

This is a pic of my adorable Inlaws at dinner



This is Abby (the owner of the Inn's dog). She's VERY cute. But would not leave us alone. You HAD to play catch with her if you were outside.



Mothers Day

Here is my Dad on Mothers day



Here is me, Mom, and my sis. I look like crap, but I'm posting it anyway


Here is my niece Kayla playing in the Couch Fort that Uncle Russ built (the other girl in the pic is my sister's boyfriends daughter.




Misc. Pics

Here is Kayla the other night when she slept over my house



Here is my niece Kayla before Daisy's. She's turning into a GIRL!! She's always been a tomboy!



Ok. That's it for pics!

Hope you enjoyed!

Weekend Recap

Friday 5/11/07
I left work at 12:30pm and went home to pack for our overnight trip to the mountains! We got there about 4pm. My in laws were already there. We hung out and had some drinks and then went to dinner. We went to dinner at a golf course club house. The view was absolutely Gorgeous. You could see the golf course from our table. I'll post pics tomorrow. I have to do it from my work computer.
Our dinner was great too! We had a really nice time. I have great inlaws. I love to hang out with them. We only see them 3-6 times a year because they live in NY. I always miss them.
After dinner we just hung out and had some drinks and talked.

Saturday 5/12/07
We got up around 9am. Had some pancakes and we headed home. My inlaws headed back to NY. We got home around noon and I started cleaning and doing laundry. Then I went to the store and bought some flowers for Russ to plant. He's the green thumb in this house.
After we had dinner, we watched A Night At the Museum. It was cute. It wasn't great, but it was ok. It was nice to watch a movie together. We haven't done that in a long time.

Sunday 5/13/07
Got up early, made a pasta salad. Finished cleaning and finished up the laundry. Russ took my parents golfing for mothers day. After they finished they came over to my house for a Mothers Day cook out. My sister and Niece came over too. Along with her boyfriend and his kid. They are the laziest people EVER! My sister did not offer to bring anything or help with anything. This is typical behavior for her. I should be used to it, but it still bothers the piss out of me. Her boyfriend also does NOTHING includeing keeping an eye on his kid. He ate 3 cheesburgers, and a sausage. Didn't have any salad or beans, just all the meat he could eat! Neither him nor my sister said thank you or offered to help clean up. Just sat on their asses! Grrrr. Makes me crazy!! I had to drink a lot of beers to keep from smacking them in their heads!!
Everyone left around 6 and I watered the the veges and then sat and watched my Sunday night shows!!

Monday 5/14/07
Nothing much at all! Re did the TTC thread on EB. Worked and chatted way to much on MSN messanger. My stamp printer was not working which frustrated the hell out of me because I have like 25 bills to send out and I have NO stamps!!! 25 bills for work, not home. I'm not that bad with money! I got home and Russ was in a SHITTY mood. I have NO idea what his problem is, but he's being a complete fucktard (thanks for that word Jen!). I'm done talking to him for the night because I'm sick of getting snapped at. I actually wish he would just go downstairs and watch TV because he's annoying me by just being in the same room.

Well, that's it for the update. I'll put some pics on here tomorrow from weekend.

Sleepover

My niece Kayla slept over last night. Usually, she sleeps over on non-school nights, but my sister was going to be over an hour away and if Kayla didn't sleep over, my sister would have been picking her up at 10pm. All went well at first. We had dinner, watched a movie played the game Life. Well, at 8:45 it was time for bed and Kayla (knowing how to play me) decided she was going to cry and tell me "I miss my mommy", "I just want to go home", "Please call my mommy". Now, I know she just didn't want to go to bed, but I'm a sucker when it comes to her crying. I can't deal well with it at all. So, the wimpy Aunt that I am decided to go get the movie we watched and I told her she could watch it in bed if she wanted. This got rid of the tears instantly!! She called me in a half hour later to ask me "Did you call my mom?, Is she coming to get me?". I told her I left a message. 1/2 hour later she was out like a light!!!!
I went to bed around 11pm ( I stayed in the bed with her) and she woke up at 3:30am and asked me "What did my mom say?", Is she coming to get me?" I had talked to my sister, but no way was she coming to get her since Kayla was sleeping by then. Plus, I live 35 minutes from my sister. So I lied and told Kayla that her mommy had a really bad tummy ache and couldn't drive all the way to my house. She bought it. Snuggled up all close to me and went back to sleep.



I also got extremely mad at my husband last night. He has a golf league on Thursday nights. They start around 4pm and he's done by 6:30 or 7, they have a drink and he's ALWAYS home by 8pm. Well, I needed some stuff at the grocery store for Kaylas lunch and breakfast and I was planning on going when Russ got home since I hate taking Kayla to the store because she asks for everything (and I'm a sucker and buy it), and she's pokey! So, 8pm comes and goes, I start calling his cell (which I KNOW he has on him) he doesn't answer, doesn't call me back. So I had to put kayla in the car and drive to the store. Got home, put Kayla in bed, she's crying, phone rings.......................It's Russ. Here's our conversation;

Russ: Hey Honey!
Me: Did enjoy your DRINKS!
Russ: We didn't stay for drinks.
Me: It's freakin' DARK OUT, you wern't golfing!
Russ: Yah, we just finished up. We decided to play 18 instead of 9 holes.
Me: Thanks for the fucking phone call!!
Russ: Well you had Kayla there, I just figured....
Me: Figured that gave you reason to stay out an extra 2 hours without a phone call!!!, I needed stuff at the store, I was waiting for you to get home, instead, I had to pack a 6 year old up and take her with me because I didn't know when the hell you were coming home
Russ: I guess we'll have to figure this out once we have our own kids
Me: WHEN WE HAVE OUR OWN KIDS YOUR ASS WILL NOT BE GOLFING UNTIL 9:30PM!!!!
Russ: Your right I should have called
Me: I gotta go, Kaylas crying!
Russ: Ok, Bye
Me: (CLICK)

I was sooo pissed! He ALWAYS calls me to let me know if he's running late or he's going to golf extra, but for some reason, he figured last night he didn't have too. He was SO wrong. Mind you this is the 3rd time this week he golfed. I don't care about that. He works hard, he can golf as much as he wants, but he needs to be a little considerate!

I'm taking a 1/2 day today because we're going to the mountains to meet up with my in-laws. I'm excited!! Just to get away is exciting! Plus, I adore my inlaws!

This has been long enough. Need to get some work done!!

Let the Temping Begin!!!!

Well, I think the Wicked Witch (AF) is finally GONE!! This morning I took my temp for the first time in months. I had figured that I had hostile mucus since November, so now that I know I don't and my Endo is gone, I figure now I can start trying again!
I've read a ton of stories about women who got pregnant a month or two after there Laporascopy (sp?). I will probably not be that lucky, but I'm going to think positive about it and do whatever I need to in order to be one of those women!! So wish me luck!!


My first period after my Lap was on Friday. It was the WORST period I've ever had in my 32 1/2 years!! Friday I had cramps so bad I had to take Advil. I figured ok, the worst is over. NOPE! I woke up at 4:30am on Saturday AND Sunday morning with REALLY bad cramps. I could not fall back asleep. I had to take like 3 Advil and put a hot water baggie on my stomache. I haven't had to do that since I was 14. And I've never had to do it 2 days in a row. It sucked! However, It's gone now. I'm hopeing that this was just because of the surgery and next month will be better because I can't handle another month like that. I'd rather have my endo back.
I should be all cleaned out now and ready for a baby!


We had a couple BFP's n EB this week! It was great because it's been awhile and we all really needed to see some. Sort gives you what you need to continue on in the TTC game.
December and Suzy both got the BFP's. Both REALLY desearved it. I'm extremely happy for them and can't wait to see their PAINTED BELLY PICS over the next 9 months.

My inlaws were in town this weekend. It was great! I enjoy them so much. I feel awful for people who have bad inlaw. I don't know how I got blessed with great parents and great inlaws, but I'm greatful!
On Saturday we took them out to dinner at Arigatos for my Mom-in-laws B-day. Then on Sunday, we went to RagApple Lassie Winery. I'm not a wine drinker, but I do love to go to different wineries. This one was really cute. I actually did do the wine tasting when they got to the sweet wines. I didn't care for them, but at least I participated.
Russ made us all Veal Parm for dinner and we hung out. We are going to the mountains on Friday to meet them. We're going to do dinner and hang out before they head home on Saturday.

That's it for Today! I promise I'll be better about udating this daily.