Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I feel Useless

Today my life was pretty average. I went to work. Went to get my nails done after work. Came home and payed some bills. Pretty boreing.

I did chat with Jen about her interview. The interview went great, but she has a major decision to make and I feel bad for her. There is so much to weigh and I don't know how she's going to figure out the best choice. I wish I could wave a magic wand and just give her the dream flying job close to her home. It makes me sad that I can't help her.

I'm also sad for Sara. Today would have been her due date. For as long as I've been trying and ALL the dissapointing BFN's and depression episodes, I've never had to go through a miscarriage. I'm not sure that I could handle it. I envy Sara's strenght and her ability to move on. I envy everyone on EB whose had to deal with miscarriages. I know that I am not a strong person. I think going through that would probably ruin me. I'd like to think I could handle it as well as Sara or Laura or Erin, but truth is, I think I'd be on some major medication.

Like my heading says,I just feel useless because I can't help them. However, I'm sending all my prayers and love to both Jen and Sara today. I think your both absolutely Amazing women and I know that someday, ALL your dreams will come true!! Love & Baby Dust!

4 comments:

Erin said...

You ARE a strong person. Don't underestimate yourself. It's obvious you are strong, look at what you have been going through the past year and a half, not many people could handle it - but you are! I am very proud of you, and you WILL have a baby, even if I have to be your surrogate (LOL)! Love you Lots!!!

decemberbaby said...

Aw, thanks hon... btw, I AM on some major medication for depression after the miscarriage. And seeing two therapists. So you know, you'd make it through too if you needed to. And we'd be here for you.

Laura said...

You know you would suprise yourself in a situation like that. I did. I always thought I wouldnt handle it well. And I might have handled it different if I had been farther along. I'm so glad you have not had to deal with it. And I agree with Erin.....You have to be a very strong person to deal with the infertility itself. And Man you are still so positive despite it all!

Dagny said...

Thanks babe!!!!!