Emotional Day

This was a very emotional day. I don’t know why. Well, I do know why, but I don’t know why it’s affected me so much. I got very teary eyed when I heard of another BFP. It’s her 2nd BFP since I’ve been TTC. I’m so happy for her. I don’t wish Infertility on anyone, so I’m glad that it’s so easy on some. However, it makes my heart ache. I immediately got a knot in my stomach and my eyes watered uncontrollably. I hate being like that. I hate feeling bitter. Especially since I’ve worked so hard at NOT being bitter. I guess I still have some work to do I suppose.

Then I had tears over the whole financial aspect. Getting the loan has not been nearly as easy to get as I thought it would be. I am struggling with the financial aspect. . Can't seem to get all the money I need in one spot. So, looks like we'll be dipping into the 401K. I don't want to, but I'm running out of options. We'd be fine if DH and I didn't screw up our credit. We're fixing it, but it's just not quite good enough yet. I hate that we have this “issue” on top of everything else. I mean, seriously, is it not bad enough that I have to PAY for a baby! Now I have to struggle to PAY for it.
Why is it so easy and natural for so many.

At 4pm, I had my meeting with my RE (reproductive endocrinologist)

The meeting went well. The Dr said we have an excellent chance of getting pregnant via IVF. He felt so strongly about it that he was completely discouraging my idea of having two embryos transferred instead of one. I told him I’d make the decision when I heard about the quality of the embryos.

The really good news is I don't have to re do ANY tests!! I was so worried about that. I do have to do the HIV, Hepatitis blood test, but that's covered, and it’s just blood work, so I can deal with that! Russ is all set too. No new tests for him. I don't need to go on Lurpon. That's good (aside of the fact that I have an $80 Lupron shot in my kitchen that I no longer need). When I get my next period, I am supposed to call on CD2 and make an appt to go in on CD3. They'll check me out, do the blood work and then I start the pill for 21 days. After 2 weeks on the pill, I'll start the daily Lupron. So far, that's all I got. I will have more info tomorrow at my IVF consultation. That's it for today.

I’ll update tomorrow after my IVF consult with the Martha!